that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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