Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize