Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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