She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
