Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
