Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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