why didn't you poke me back
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
