He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
