haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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