The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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