They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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