It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
