I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
