Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
