I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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