You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
