sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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