My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My dick has a subreddit
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I have post one night stand depression
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
