where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
