My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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