All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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