Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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