he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
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