WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
