He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
