Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
