Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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