Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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