There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
