I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Randomize
