So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
