i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
whose parrot is this?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
