Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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