i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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