my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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