when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
