You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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