He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
