ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
