Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
