His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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