White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Randomize
