Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
