woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
