i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
