I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
