xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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