Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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