sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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