it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
