p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
