Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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