quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
