I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
