Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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