if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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