would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
