I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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