Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
there is puke in my bra ... again
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