I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
