i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
