its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
